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I could have done this instead of doing jee prep and failing jee...

1. Normal schooling in PCM + cs + coaching for school level  2. Buying this laptop and learning Full stack Development and get some money making skills in the span of 2 years.  3. Doing fresher internships and mainly freelance and remote jobs part time   4. Earning around 30-40k per month + doing gym in those 2 years consistently   5. now, I have skills + body + money... making a girlfriend... we both go Noida and she takes a flat for rent and we both live together in a live-in relationship   6. I take dmission in college (as I can earn some + little bit of parents help) 7. we both go to same college/uni and live together happily as well as she also learns those skills and does some part time with me.
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The Pain :/

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Sorry, but I had to share this.  I feel it so much... but my words are not enough to to express those emotions, even if I did; I might again and again be considered week and vulnerable with those feelings as these people won't ever understand me truly and how deeply I am concerned, I know at times I might be vulnerable I might be too emotionally attached, there is actually a trauma related to it which I felt and was so shakened by it that it kinda reshaped and forged me into this, I was never like this never ever... but unfortunately due to those mis-happenings which occurred about 4 years ago, they have me shaped my inner core into this and I have seriously tried hard, a lot hard and at times even after failing I have kept trying to regain myself and have restored a lot but still not completely .... Last year too I was so left out and had nobody with me that day, I could have gone there but to the root level, to those beautiful people my ugly ass would just be a burdensome experie...
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aakhir kitna

Meri Manovyatha~~ Dekho bhai, simple si baat hai is dunia me itne log hai itne fields hai itni cheeze hai, toh aakhir tum kitno se compete kar loge ? Aur sawaal khatm nhi hua abhi, kitno se, kab tak aur akhir kis liye... Kya ye sab permanent hai haan mana ki permanent kuch bhi nahi hai par fir bhi life me kitna kar le koi insaaan... Kitna hi kar le sukh usse tab hi milega jab wo compete karna chhod ke jeena start karega har wakt ek invisible si race me nahi bhaag rha hoga, ek limit decided hoti hai ya karte karte apne aap hi wo limit us individual ko pata chal jaati hai ki bhaiya humara inte me achhe se guzar basar ho jaa raha hai, ek life partner hai jeevan me toh atleast 100 ladkio ko to chase nahi kar rhe ho, ek definite career path hai toh atleast 100 jagah toh nahi apply karke baithe ho... Han ghumo khao fit bhi raho par guru jeevan jio aage badho ekdam se hi sab wo jo chaahte ho wo nhi mil jayega... Arre bade bade log kitna kuch achieve karke kaha se kaha gir jaate hai dhang ki m...
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My first

Nothing complex, just saying hi :) Hello world
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